Thoughts and Feelings on "The Fault In Our Stars"

Dear __________,

I am writing this letter to you because you are the perfect person
who will understand everything
I have to say about this book because
you were the one who gave it to me.

And it's sweet, almost as sweet as how Hazel Grace introduced An Imperial Affliction to Augustus.

Thank you, by the way. I couldn't be more thankful. You could have given me a pair of socks or a set of hair clips but you've given me this book. Thanks, really.

I liked it how Peter Vanhouten turned out to be a douchebag. To be honest, I kind of imagined him as a sophisticated man who wears a suit, looking handsome and sharp. But he wasn't like that. He was a fat-bellied, rich, angry man and proudly alcoholic. I bet that's the last thing Hazel and Augustus have imagined him to be. Indeed, the world is not a wish granting factory. People are not what they seem. People are never what we want them to be.

I like it how Augustus took Isaac to "egg" Monica's car, plainly because people like her deserve to have their cars "egged" for breaking a heart. But seriously, the egg-throwing is still kind of a "nice" revenge compared to those that I can think of.


And though parts of me hate Monica for leaving Isaac like that, I understand her. What she did was an act of self-preservation because maybe she loved him too much that it would have killed her slowly to see Isaac go blind. But I will never know for sure.

I liked it how Carolyn Mathers died because she was a bitch or maybe the tumor made her a bitch. Whatever.

I liked it how Hazel never got her answers about Anna's mom. I really wanna know the answers too, but that's the thing about life and books, sometimes you don't get answers.

I liked it how Augustus' lips were parted when Hazel Grace kissed him at the Anne Frank museum in Amsterdam because in my relatively short encounters with the kissing experience itself, I believe that it is one of the best things that we, humans, can do to each other.  Please don't laugh. I knew you'll laugh.

I was sobbing from Chapter 21 all the way through. I was at McDonald's when I read that Augustus died 8 days after his prefuneral and I had to go home because I wasn't accustomed to crying helplessly over a book amidst audiences. So I left and continued sobbing and reading at home.

I kind of felt Hazel's pain when she said she never got a hold of Gus' scent after that time she tucked herself in his sheets days after he passed away. Have you heard of the fact that humans don't have olfactory memory? We can only remember a scent we once smelled by smelling it again. When you haven't seen someone you love in a really long time, even the smallest thing as smelling their scent will feel like heaven.And never getting a hold of that scent ever again kind of suck and hurt.To borrow a line from All American Reject's Heartbeat Slowing Down, "I bury my face in your pillow just to smell your perfume".

I love it how even if Gus thought his chances of finding a great girl that will fall in love with him (and get him laid) is pretty low, almost close to impossible (Venn Diagram), still he found Hazel Grace. One big fat reminder that there's someone out there great, someone who despite our shittyness would love us, including our (metaphorically) amputated parts. And we never have to settle for whoever's "just right". Someone out there would amazingly understand us and love us even if we are grenades or other worse things that are potentially hurtful.

I loved it how Hazel's dad cries all the time because tears mean sincerity and honesty and all else that's true like love and fear.

I loved the line: "some infinities are bigger than other infinities." because eventhough we are humbled by the truth that our lives are but vapors that could banish at any moment, we are comforted by the fact that we have been given the chance to love and be loved - and that love will be our own infinity, lasting beyond our lifetimes.

I loved how caring, strong, super cool and unconditionally loving Hazel's mom was and I want to be that kind of mother someday. (But no kid with cancer please)

I loved it when Augustus spent his wish for Hazel because it was selfless and kind and strangely sexy!

I loved it how Augustus used to play basketball and was good at it just because, again, it's sexy. And I also loved how it was only Hazel who knew that he didn't like the game anymore because it's nice to share intimate truths with that special person.

And the thing about the universe wanting to be noticed but it is really us humans who want to feel like we matter is the truest thing there is. Hence, people's Facebook posts.

I loved how Gus loved Hazel because he was fearless and he poured out everything he can for her. I loved how Hazel loved Augustus because despite her condition, her fears and insecurities, she dove into it - with full acceptance that one will outlive the other.

Maybe it's true that when you fight for it hard enough it becomes worth it in the end.

I loved it how even in the last few days of Augustus' short life, he still managed to come up with an amazing love gesture for Hazel Grace (the eulogy). Because maybe when you truly love someone you can't stop showing them even if you're dying.

There'r a million more things that I love about this book but honestly, I love it especially because you were the one who gave it to me.

Thanks for reading.

MUCH LOVE,
J