Thoughts and Feelings on "The Fault In Our Stars"

Dear __________,

I am writing this letter to you because you are the perfect person
who will understand everything
I have to say about this book because
you were the one who gave it to me.

And it's sweet, almost as sweet as how Hazel Grace introduced An Imperial Affliction to Augustus.

Thank you, by the way. I couldn't be more thankful. You could have given me a pair of socks or a set of hair clips but you've given me this book. Thanks, really.

I liked it how Peter Vanhouten turned out to be a douchebag. To be honest, I kind of imagined him as a sophisticated man who wears a suit, looking handsome and sharp. But he wasn't like that. He was a fat-bellied, rich, angry man and proudly alcoholic. I bet that's the last thing Hazel and Augustus have imagined him to be. Indeed, the world is not a wish granting factory. People are not what they seem. People are never what we want them to be.

I like it how Augustus took Isaac to "egg" Monica's car, plainly because people like her deserve to have their cars "egged" for breaking a heart. But seriously, the egg-throwing is still kind of a "nice" revenge compared to those that I can think of.


And though parts of me hate Monica for leaving Isaac like that, I understand her. What she did was an act of self-preservation because maybe she loved him too much that it would have killed her slowly to see Isaac go blind. But I will never know for sure.

I liked it how Carolyn Mathers died because she was a bitch or maybe the tumor made her a bitch. Whatever.

I liked it how Hazel never got her answers about Anna's mom. I really wanna know the answers too, but that's the thing about life and books, sometimes you don't get answers.

I liked it how Augustus' lips were parted when Hazel Grace kissed him at the Anne Frank museum in Amsterdam because in my relatively short encounters with the kissing experience itself, I believe that it is one of the best things that we, humans, can do to each other.  Please don't laugh. I knew you'll laugh.

I was sobbing from Chapter 21 all the way through. I was at McDonald's when I read that Augustus died 8 days after his prefuneral and I had to go home because I wasn't accustomed to crying helplessly over a book amidst audiences. So I left and continued sobbing and reading at home.

I kind of felt Hazel's pain when she said she never got a hold of Gus' scent after that time she tucked herself in his sheets days after he passed away. Have you heard of the fact that humans don't have olfactory memory? We can only remember a scent we once smelled by smelling it again. When you haven't seen someone you love in a really long time, even the smallest thing as smelling their scent will feel like heaven.And never getting a hold of that scent ever again kind of suck and hurt.To borrow a line from All American Reject's Heartbeat Slowing Down, "I bury my face in your pillow just to smell your perfume".

I love it how even if Gus thought his chances of finding a great girl that will fall in love with him (and get him laid) is pretty low, almost close to impossible (Venn Diagram), still he found Hazel Grace. One big fat reminder that there's someone out there great, someone who despite our shittyness would love us, including our (metaphorically) amputated parts. And we never have to settle for whoever's "just right". Someone out there would amazingly understand us and love us even if we are grenades or other worse things that are potentially hurtful.

I loved it how Hazel's dad cries all the time because tears mean sincerity and honesty and all else that's true like love and fear.

I loved the line: "some infinities are bigger than other infinities." because eventhough we are humbled by the truth that our lives are but vapors that could banish at any moment, we are comforted by the fact that we have been given the chance to love and be loved - and that love will be our own infinity, lasting beyond our lifetimes.

I loved how caring, strong, super cool and unconditionally loving Hazel's mom was and I want to be that kind of mother someday. (But no kid with cancer please)

I loved it when Augustus spent his wish for Hazel because it was selfless and kind and strangely sexy!

I loved it how Augustus used to play basketball and was good at it just because, again, it's sexy. And I also loved how it was only Hazel who knew that he didn't like the game anymore because it's nice to share intimate truths with that special person.

And the thing about the universe wanting to be noticed but it is really us humans who want to feel like we matter is the truest thing there is. Hence, people's Facebook posts.

I loved how Gus loved Hazel because he was fearless and he poured out everything he can for her. I loved how Hazel loved Augustus because despite her condition, her fears and insecurities, she dove into it - with full acceptance that one will outlive the other.

Maybe it's true that when you fight for it hard enough it becomes worth it in the end.

I loved it how even in the last few days of Augustus' short life, he still managed to come up with an amazing love gesture for Hazel Grace (the eulogy). Because maybe when you truly love someone you can't stop showing them even if you're dying.

There'r a million more things that I love about this book but honestly, I love it especially because you were the one who gave it to me.

Thanks for reading.

MUCH LOVE,
J

To the biggest barkada in 4CA3 :)

First day of school noon, lahat yata ng taong nakita ko na tumayo sa harap ng room 213, natanong ko kung anong block sila. Hindi pa ako sure kung ano talaga ibig sbihin ng word na "block" sa college, pero dahil masyadong High school-ish yung "section", sinabi ko nalang block 1CA3 ako.

After a few minutes, I can still remember it quite vividly, when I saw this girlaloo who looked like she was lost. So just like everyone else, I asked her which block she belongs to. Fortunately, both of us were destined to be in 1CA3. We entered the room and I sat next to her. I didn't know why of all people that I have talked to and approached that day, I chose to sit beside this girl. We introduced ourselves to each other and I asked for her number. I tried typing her name in my phone but she politely said "sabi ko na mali e". Just like many of us, once upon a time, namali din ako sa spelling ng name niya. The name is EUNISSE.

I didn't know that that girl whose name was so hard to spell would be my college buddy for better or for worse, for hunger or for bloated-ness.

Months passed by, I wasn't the easiest person to get along with, and so was she. I can say that our friendship, just like metamorphosis, undergone a process which slowly turned into something more beautiful than we ever expected. Chos. Metamorphosis pa daw. Hahahahaha. (Kakanood ko lang ng "It Takes A Man And A Woman") Kasi naman, tignan niyo tong pictures namin, through jeje times, through payat-ness and taba-ness, may bangs o wala, maitim o maputi, short hair or long hair, pinag-daanan namin lahat yan together! :)

Sa dami ng group works or partner works na nalampasan namin kahit minsan hindi kami nag-away ng bonnga. Alam kong naiinis siya sakin, minsan ako din sa kanya pero normal lang yun. Sa apat na taon ba naman ng pressure at kung ano anong stress, sobrang galing lang talaga namin na na-maintain namin yung real friendship na walang hidden feelings or backstab-an.

Yung pressure at stress ng 4 years nakakapang-hingalo, nakakasira ng relationships but we went through all that and it made us better and stronger, never falling apart. Imagine: thesis at IMC palang OA na sa ngarag, eh magka-group kami sa parehong 'yon. Di pa kasama yung mga singit singit na prods, papers at activities na dagdag sa eyebags. Hanggang sa paghahanap ng pag-oojt-han, kami ang mag-kasama.
Eunisse de leon: my forever college kakampi.

Di sapat ang isang blog post para i-kwento lahat pero eto nalang muna nag shortcut. Abangan mo nalang yung portion na to sa Biography ko. :))))

Seldom can one find a friend that's so real, honest, reliable, and fun to be with. Gets na gets niya ko. Gets na gets ko din siya. Affectionate akong tao, mayakap at ma-kiss. Affectionate din naman siya but siguro, she expresses it in a diffferent way. We had to adjust sa kung ano ako at kung paano siya. And I'm proud that we were able to build a friendship that meets both of us halfway.

Dear Eunisse,

Hahahaha. Ito yung ganti ko sa surprise gift at letter mo na nakakabaliw.Sayang hindi natin nakainan lahat ng kainan around UST pero someday babalik tayo dun at bibilhin natin silang lahat! Pati yung Simple Line!
Pero seriosuly, thank you for making my college life fun and bearable, for being real and for always being there. Mula sa pagpapaload hanggang sa pag-bili ng sapatos sa over pass, thank you. Hahahaha. Salamat sa pag-totolerate mo sa kabaliawn ko kay Jeric Fortuna kahit minsan too much info na ang na-sheshare ko dahil sa kaka-stalk ko sa kanya. Hahahaha! Salamat sa patience at sa honesty. Mamimiss kita friend. Huhuhuhu. Ayoko naaaaaaa. Hahahahha.

Hindi kita sasabihan ng good luck kasi alam kong kahit walang luck magiging successful ka. You have the character  and the ability to reach your dreams. Susuportahan kita sa pagiging president mo ng Kpop fans club at sa addiction mo sa Kdramas. Invite mo din ako sa kasal mo, binyag ng anak mo pati sa libing mo. (De Leon, 2013) Hahahahahaha. Basta we'll stay friends forever, promise!

Love you, friend!

400,000 hugs and kisses din! (De Leon, 2013) Hahahaha

P.S. Nasan na yung powerpoint presentation na 4 years mong pinag-isipan? Excited na ko makita Hahahahah :))


Mamimiss talaga kita. Pati yung moments na nag-iisip tayo ng mga kamuka ng mga tao. Pati yung pag-susum up natin ng mga dapat gawin kapag nasa tapat na tayo ng carpark bago umuwi. Tsaka yung pag-chichismisan natin sa chatbox, yung mga knock knock jokes, yung pamamanhid ng paa natin sa TYK, pag-pilit ko sayo mag-milktea, pag-jebs mo sa dorm namin, sisig moments, pag-CR,horror stories at yung common crush natin. :))))

CONGRATULATIONS SATIN. NA-KAYA NATIN ANG LAHAT. WOOOH!
See you again soon! :*

Yung friend mo na kamukha ng tutor mo,
Jan Lois <3

What My Lunch Made Me Realize

So today I went to the mall to buy a gift for my Dad this Father's Day. After an hour of searching, I finally settled for a McJim Leather Belt which I know my dad would use very often.
After looking around (kasi I don't have money to shop) I felt I was already hungry and went to Pizza Hut for lunch.

I was almost tempted to go for my usual order: Spaghetti and Iced Tea. Why? Because first, it's not that pricey and second, it's safe and convenient. I'm pretty sure of its taste, I'd never have to wonder whether I'd like the food or not because I've tried it a hundred times and for me it's good enough.
But a thought changed my mind. I realized It wont hurt to try something else.
I ordered for a Fettuccine Ala King and a Tropical Fizz. It didn't cost me that much but I've tried something new and realized something too.

It's supposed to look more delicious than this but camera phone sucks.

Here comes my latest realization.

I have always been the type of person who always stays at the safe side. I rarely risk. Oftentimes I over-think things. I hate being caught on situations unprepared. I prefer knowing before-hand. I'd spend more than an hour looking for a movie to watch: reading plots, watching trailers going through reviews and comments. It happens to me all the time. My night would be wasted trying to find a good movie just because I don't want to risk my two hours on a non-sense film. Little did I know, I was already wasting too much of my time by endlessly searching.

Why can't I just sit back and relax and try something new and not worry about whether the movie will turn out good or bad? Why can't I just go with the flow and for once, try something new? Why can't I break-free from my daily routine and my usual patterns? Why can't I just try something else? Because I am seriously getting bored of the USUAL.

It never occurred to me that a bunch of Fettuccine and a Tropical-whatever-drink would somehow make me think about a lot of things. This instance is just a tiny little thing, actually. I can choose not to reflect on it, but I realized it's worth pondering on. It's not much of a big deal if I'm a play-safe-person kasi that's just one part of my personality. But this whole Fettuccine thing really did me good.

Now that I'm writing this blog, it came to me just now... I realized that this whole boredom-of-my-usual-preferences-stuff has been bugging me for several weeks now. It's just today that I started to be serious on acting upon it. But unknowingly, I have been actually doing something upon it, I remembered that for the past 2 weeks, I have been ordering different flavors of milk tea; which is new for me since I have been alternately ordering coffee konjac and Tapioca Black for the past 2 years EVERYDAY.
 It really doesn't hurt to try something else. If it tastes bad, it's worth the experience, if it tastes good, then I got myself a new addiction!

Besides, how would you know if something better is out there if you won't try and find out for yourself?

I found that with little things, I can make myself happy by exploring and knowing what else is out there. From now on, I choose to explore. I'd go out there with openness while embracing the possibilities... BECAUSE IT'S A VERY FREEING WAY TO LIVE.


So that's what I've learned today. Never thought that food and drinks could actually make me realize a whole lot of things. :)

My Internship @ JobStreet.com

Total hours required: 200 hrs

Company: JobStreet.com Philippines, Inc. (Marketing Dept.)

20/F Cybergate Tower 3, Pioneer St., Mandaluyong City

Date Started: April 10, 2012

Date Finished:  May 18, 2012

I was on LRT EDSA station, roaming around, running late for my first day of work, not knowing which way to go, completely lost in the midst of rushing people in the hugeness of the Metro. I went out the train station, giving up the hope of getting to my workplace on-time after seeing that kilometric lane of people at the ticket booth. So I tried my luck outside, confident that I can always catch a taxi anytime. After an hour of walking and waiving, I finally got a cab to take me to my workplace in Pioneer St., Mandaluyong.

The Office

When I got to JobStreet’s office, people were already going home and the place seemed untidy and flooded. I thought baka nag-lilinis lang. But after a few minutes, the HR told us that the place was actually flooded after a faucet was left leaking during the Holy Week holidays. Unfortunately, computers were broken and papers were wet. It didn’t take long when my boss, Ma’am Cai, called me to give me some take home assignments since there will be no office for that day.

So I went home and did that take-home task and went to office the next day. A week went on doing writing tasks like letters, articles and also assisting the bosses. I was already having fun when a project was assigned to me, The I Found Mine Campaign.( I will kwento about this in another post.) I began to have even more fun.  

Preps for IFM Launch

After the IFM, I was assigned to another task: updating the School Database. I was calling up some 218 universities around NCR updating their contact details. It seems like it’s an easy task, but believe me when I say that it’s crazily HARD. People on the phone are not always kind, sometimes they lose their etiquette, and my patience wasn’t that long. Also, I wasn’t really used to using the Microsoft Excel and with that task; I was forced to learn how it really works. The tiny letters and the “nakakalito-ness” of the whole thing have actually stretched my patience and logical skills. I’m glad na-kaya ko. I was able finish it with the help of my fellow interns and Ma’am Kheng, the Marketing Assistant.  After NCR, north and south Luzon naman. Then after updating those databases, I sent invitations via email to school administrators, including those in Cebu, for the upcoming Career Congress on June. I follow up and receive confirmations and file piles of documents. It took me several weeks to finish it. Some random tasks were also assigned to me like inquiring for Pep Squad services, answering phone calls and one time, I assisted for a shoot for an interview with an HR Officer of JobStreet with a TV5 morning show. Some random secretariat tasks, attending meetings and preparing for events were the things that kept me busy for weeks. 

On my last day at work, when supposedly I was to be in office for only 3 hours to complete the required 200 hours, I ended up spending 11 more because we went to an event, a job fair in Clark, Pampanga. I could have just stayed in the office for a half-day but I couldn’t let the chance pass without ever experiencing how it was to organize an event. So even though I was tired the whole day and though my whole body is shouting ouch, and my mind wants to go blank for lack of sleep, I pushed through because I was happy with what I’m doing. Work doesn’t seem like work at all. I was inspired and happy and inspired and happy. You read it right, not a typo error; I was really very inspired and happy.

w/ Ma'am Shella, after Pampanga event

w/ Ma'am Cai, the best boss :)

During the one-hour lunch break everyday, I eat at the Forum mall near the Cybergate Tower 3 where foods are actually good but are a little bit pricey. Sometimes I eat with friends who were also having their internship near the area. And sometimes, we interns, would eat together with the Marketing department people. During this one hour break, I look around me and lots and lots of thoughts occupy my mind: about what will happen to me after graduation; about the hundreds of employees I see and whether they are happy with their jobs or not; whether I would work in that same place in the future or not; and how I can afford to eat out in pricey restaurants with big meals someday. Lots of questions, indeed but honestly, the last one mattered the most than others. Haha. I  Have this bad habit of buying myself large and delicious meals as a reward for working so hard and for waking up so early in the morning. Food is my one and only vice. Food sips out my allowance really fast.

the window view

Though the hours were long and the tasks were exhausting, days went on fast because I enjoy the company of people I work with. They are really fun to be with. The laughter and smiles,  their jokes and teasing around made my day. But it never cease to amaze me how such cheerful people could be so smart and professional at the same time. One thing is true, they are good at what they do, and someday I want to be like them too. As they assign tasks to us, they assist and teach us too. They help us learn and understand  how things really work, especially Ma’am Cai. And though she’s really busy, she takes time to help me learn things not only in the business world but lessons about real life.  I owe her a lot of thanks.

Over-time, fun times...

My journey to the office, that one and a half hour everyday, and that very long bus ride, with the traffic and the pollution; I used to hate them all. But now, I miss it… excluding the terrifying part of walking along Cubao at night, that, I won’t miss. Never. 

A lot of people were asking me why I opted to have my internship with JobStreet, why not in the country’s leading TV Networks, why not in any other company which is closer to my major. I say I have been studying advertising and production for how many years already, and though I would want to practice them, I prefer to widen both my knowledge and skills by not concentrating in only one field. And I was right when I chose JobStreet, I learned production, advertising, marketing, and writing altogether. I was never asked to make coffee, not a mean word was said to me. I learned and had fun more than I hoped for. No regrets, just a huge pile of thanks.

208 hours or a month and a week, I learned too many things.  If only Mandaluyong City would be one ride away from my place here in Cabanatuan, I would love to work until the last day of my summer vacation. I thank JobStreet.com for giving me the best internship experience. They truly deserve to be the No.1 job site in the Philippines for they give a lot of Filipinos better lives through better careers. 

Before I went for Jobstreet, I was praying for another company to accept me. Of course I was depressed and disappointed after knowing that I failed to get in. But after several weeks, I realized JobStreet was well worth it. 

Internship may just be a 3-unit requirement, but its value and importance to students is immeasurable. It is far more important than other irrelevant subjects and others  taught by lazy and inconsiderate professors. 

After eleven months, I will be graduating from college and then I would look back on my journey to that special day. I’d be thanking God for bringing me to JobStreet and not anywhere else.

Welcome me back, blog! :)

It’s been a while since I last wrote here. I have to admit, I have been crazily busy and lazy these past few months. If anybody happens to read my blog, please forgive me for not updating this since forever. School, internship, Sims 3 and sleep took much of my time. 

Anyway, since it’s already untimely to blog about the things I have listed too many months ago, I will only blog about the most recent adventures I jump into. I have to say this: it discourages me every time I see the list of all my unaccomplished posts, those that will only remain to be titles forever. Sayang, if only I wasn’t that busy and lazy, I could have gathered some more blog traffic.

There’s one thing I’ve learned from both blogging and writing on my planner: that you cannot actually bring back time, both literally and figuratively. 

Literally: although Mr. Einstein already started the possibility to time travel, until scientists get a little bit smarter to continue that, we will still be unable to bring back nor advance time. 

Figuratively: It is hard to write about something that is not already fresh in your memory. I learned that it is important to write about things while you can still say “it just happened” while you can remember every detail vividly, when you still feel that feeling, while all the thoughts are still accurate; because if not, you will end up being too lazy to write about it anymore for you have already lost the excitement and momentum.

Bottomline: Whether it’s laziness or busyness that keeps you from writing, if you feel that you really have to write about something, PLEASE DO. You can never write as beautifully as while you are IN THAT MOMENT.

So I’ve learned that already, not promising that I won’t stop blogging again, though. But expect me to write more this time. :)

Thanks, friends!

-END-

PASKUHAN with Abz :)

Normally, people would go to UST Paskuhan with their college friends and acquaintances, but I do just the opposite -- I went with my High school friends. And just like every night-out with them, we had so much fun. :)

Not that I hate my college friends, or I don't like being with them, because I do. It's just that it's been a tradition for us, Manila ABZ, to attend Paskuhan and sleep over in someone's condo after.

Sobrang daming tao, ang hirap maka-contact at ang hirap hanapin nung place sa field. Ang hirap tumapak sa manila paper ng my manila paper. ang hirap sumingit, mag-cr at ang hirap maligaw -- my annual Paskuhan Problems.
But despite those, I still arranged everything for ABZ. I posted sa group namin weeks before, even advertised it para mas nakakagana. I bought manila paper, mineral water, some chips, and chocolates. I coordinated kung sino pwedeng umampon samin and kung kaninong condo pwedeng mag-sleep over. and just like last year, sobrang sakit ng paa ko dahil sa pabalik-balik sa gate sa pag-sundo sa kanila kasi iba't ibang time sila dumating. The time and the effort -- but then worth it pa rin lahat.

The laughs. The reminiscing of old memories. The good conversations. The singing with the band. The fireworks. The pictures.  The long wait in KFC.The journey to Timog. The long walk. That madaling-araw meal.The horror movie. The few hours of sleep. And the missing USB. :)))
They're surely worth the pagod and the inis of setting up a get -together.

I dont know, but there's just a feeling that I feel that whenever I'm with them, everything odd fades -- and everything good shines like a dragon firework. :))

I love you guys.. sa susunod na Paskuha ulit.

Friends and other Painkillers

I don't know how they do it, but there are people in our lives, in mine especially, who never fails to just be there and love you all the way. During the sembreak, we had plenty of random dates and meet ups, we used to do this but not quite often because we're school busy.. but in those 2 weeks, it felt like time won't end.

It's the feeling that whatever happens, i'll be just fine because they are there. the comfort, the ease, the absolutely-no-judgment guarantee, that even with my make-up smudged or even if I fart out loud, or even if my hair doesn't look nice, and though I rant about the same things for several years, despite all the unlovely things about me and all the stuffs that I cannot do, we're still friends.

If the world is a big department store, i think FRIENDS are the best and the ultimate freebies that you get.
Lorraine, Trizian, Kim and Kimmie, you know I love you guys, i tell you that a lot.. so less the drama, I'm gonna tell you I miss you and I'll see you soon! :) <3

SEE US IN OUR NOT SO GLAMOROUS PHOTOS. :))

Mommy, Daddy and my Pink Tooth

I thank toothaches for moments like this. Mommy and Daddy taking me to the Dentist, isn't that sweet?

It was Sunday when my wisdom tooth started to give me pains. I took pain relievers until the next day. Tuesday came and the pain worsens. Mommy decided to take me to the dentist referred by my friend Trizian. We were in the car on the way to the clinic when all of a sudden a felt a cloud of appreciation in my heart. Yes. Haha.

I was last on the list so we have to wait in a long line of toothache and braces people. I was sitting between mommy and daddy. I was nervous, afraid, scared, anxious and terrified all at the same time.  I have always been afraid of Dentists, the odd metal and whatever instruments they stick inside people's mouths and the way they demand people to say 'aaaaaaaa' for 96 hours non-stop. Hahaha.I have never been comfortable being around medical people. Ironically, I feel threatened and scared. That is why I really appreciate mommy and daddy accompanying me to the clinic despite the fact that their daughter is an 18-year old grown up, living in Manila alone for 5 days a week. It may seem ridiculous, but to me, it's sweet. Right there, sitting next to them, on that horrible moment of my dental life, I felt thankful for having such sweet parents who never gets tired of being there for me. Once again, I felt like their little baby girl. And it's an indescribable feeling of being sandwiched by my parents love. And then all of a sudden, I felt thankful to a toothache that reminded me how blessed I am for having my parents around.

While we were waiting for my turn, Daddy keeps telling me how he had to undergo a surgery just to get rid of his wisdom tooth. You have no idea how my Daddy tells a story, he tells it very well, I can picture the scenes quite vividly! As what he usually does during medical matters like this, he's been scaring me, telling me that I would have to go through the same surgery because my Ate also did. I was all the more afraid. I gave him sweet punches and mild 'kurot'. HAHA.

I'm going to make the long story short, after the dentist saw what she has to see, and after seeing my dental X-ray,.. guess what? Dad was right. I would have to undergo the same surgery. There's something going on within my teeth. A certain tooth named 'Pinktooth' has been stuck under my gums all these years. My wisdom tooth has been preventing Pinktooth to grow and be a normal one. All these years he has been hiding under my gums just because wisdom tooth won't let him out, and that's quite unfair.. and painful in my part! Hence, the surgery.

I can't imagine that fateful day when that dentist opens my gums and do justice for my stuck tooth, that would be equally relieving and horrifying. I don't know how I'm gonna get through it. But one thing's for sure, as long as I got Dad on my side and Mom on the other, I've got nothing to be afraid of.

I am 18 and I'm brave. I can do this because mommy told me that I can. I will get through this because daddy taught me how to be strong.

It's just a tooth after all, A TOOTH!

Trizian's 18th: Sisters Reunited

October 8, 2011 at La Parilla Hotel.

My Sister, Trizian Gloria Lacson, turned 18. Last na sya na magdedebut sa Abz, sad. Anyway, Icanstill remember it quite vividly until now, this night was a super fun night. Dahil wala naman talagang boring kapag kasama ko sila. Sana kahit wala ng mag-dedebut maulit parin natin happy times like this. I miss you all!

My Blog: Revived :)

My Dashboard tells me that it was October 5, 1897 since I last updated my blog. Haha. :)
It's been so long, so what happened to me? My answer would be... I was busy fixing something.. while procrastinating a little bit.

(Wait, gusto ko mag-Filipino)

Sa totoo lang, kanina pa ako nag-iisip kung paano ko ipapaliwanag sa aking Dear Readers (assuming I have Readers) kung bakit 2 months akong tinamad. Let's face it, katamaran lang talaga ang dahilan, pero isama mo na rin ang ilang issue sa buhay ko na kinailangan ko munang ayusin bago ako makapag-isip muli ng tuwid.

I will be unfair to myself if I will narrate the whole story of my 2-month blogging refusal, that would be very sad and tiring. Because not everything should be shouted out to the whole world via internet, some things are better left unpublished.
But wait, although it will not be timely anymore, I will still blog about the happy, inspiring, exciting and thrilling stories that happened over the course of time that I wasn't posting, stories that are worth publishing and reading. I don't want your parents paying extra for electricity just because their child read a trashy blog posted by me. Chos. Haha.

Gear up for a List of Posts I would like to write in the following days.. or weeks. :)
I had a good time squeezing my brain out for some juicy titles. :)

-Singapore is sweeter the second time around

-They Caramelize My Life

-My Sister and 8 Tear-jerking Facts

-Friends and other Pain-relievers

-I Shift+Deleted You 

-Falling in Line with Mom and Dad

-Grandparents and their hidden coolness

-The Summit (Media) of my dreams

-I am challenged

-I was talking to Adele when all of a sudden John Meyer intervened.

Watch out for them.
I will make it up for those 2 months I was out. :)

My Life's Sweetest Delight

In afew days, I will be sseing them na, and I will  be enjoying every single minute I'll spend with these little cuties. ;)
It will be the perfect time to catch up with my very missed pamangkins. I can spend everyday just cuddling and playing with them. They're really the cutest.. and the sweetest! :)

Really Excited to see them na. :)))

OF ALL DAYS, WHY NOW?

NAWAWALA YUNG ID KO :(((

here's my lonely ID Lace and holder :((

Me and my friend Mechelle were on our way to Recto to Buy Eng Bee Tin Hopia, as requested by my dearest Ate. Hindi ko talga alam pumunta dun, naligaw pa kami ng konti. Sumakay kami ng Tricycle then MRT, tapos isang mahabang lakad. Pinag-lalaruan ko ung ID ko, as what I always do.. Hindi ko na sya napansin kasi we were busy trying to figure out which way to go.
Sobrang naliligaw na kami, hindi namin mahanap ung store.. edi naglakad-lakad kami.. tapos voila biglang may "Eng Bee Tin".. ayun, parang magic, sobrang saya ko. Sobrang saya talaga. Hahahaha.
Pasakay na kami ng jeep pabalik ng P.Noval nung napansin ko na wala na 'kong ID. :((((
Bakit nagyon pa??? :(((((
-magsesembreak na.
-ang hirap kumuha ulit..
 -hindi nag-papapasok sa Library ng walang ID.. may exam pa naman kami sa Ed Tech.:(((
-I'm going somewhere na kailangan ng Student ID. :((

I need my ID back.
Or atleast, get a replacement as soon as FRIDAY.. or else I'll be dead. :(
Please. Please. Please.
I need my ID back talaga....

Boy Meets Girl

I bought this book today, a sequel of 'I kissed dating goodbye' which I have read a few years back, and it was actually the one that I wanted to buy and reread, since I was barely 14 when I first read it. :) Unfortunately, I can't find a copy of it in SM San Lazaro National Bookstore, so since I have read it already, I decided to just buy the sequel, 'Boy Meets Girl'.
I really need this book right now. I love Joshua Harris and I'm thankful to his ministry in writing about Romance with Purpose. I'm so blessed with the principles he teaches and I'm looking forward to a more enjoyable and fruitful reading experience as I go through this book.

I'll blog more about this in the coming days :)

Random lang:
-Amazed, over and over about 1Corinthians 13 :)
-Kelan kaya ipapahiram ni Ijah sakin ung I kissed dating goodbye (sana ipahiram nya kahit 18th birthday gift ko sakanya yun.Haha)
-shopped for trizian's debut today, sale sa SM! *and wala na kong pera :)))
-im gonna go read now :)

JF :)

Video from: blackandgoldblooded
 

JF stands for Just another Fan..
but sometimes, it's also.. Jeric Fortuna <3
Jeric Marco G. Fortuna.
Like everybody else, I am just his FAN.
I am the one who screams her lungs out at the lower box A of Araneta to cheer the unending "Go Fortuna!" and of course the classic and the unbeatable "Go USTe!"
Aside from checking up his formspring and asking questions.. and google-ing him all the time.. I also take the effort of widening my eyes everytime I'm in AB with hopes that I might see him kahit paminsan-minsan lan.

I'm not on the go to compete with other fans like those who chase him around UST and make papicture all the time. There's nothing wrong with that..I actually think it's cute. But I'd rather do my thing on the courtside near the bench and go cheer for him to death. I will support UST.. and Jeric, especially even after graduation.

The last time I watched was the last match with Ateneno, and just when he failed to shoot the last shot for a tie, I dropped a tear. Because I thought that would be the last for him in UAAP and that I will no longer have a chance to watch him Live. But theeeeennnn...
I'm lucky enough that he's staying for another year, his last year actually. Hindi ko ma-express ang saya ko when I knew he was extended until the next UAAP Season.

Dear Jeric, I know you thought you know who your biggest fan is, but I think you're wrong. Because you haven't met me yet. I will yell Go Jeric Fortuna amidst the crowd during your games and I will never get tired. You're not just a great basketball player, I know you're a good man. :)
*and oh.. I die everytime nakaka-shoot ka.. kahit sa free-throw lang. :)))

I know you probably don't remember, but this was me. And my other posts.. na hindi ko namahanap kasi ang crowded ng formspring mo. :)

I hope you hear me when I cheer for you.

-Janlois  :* :) <3

Kissing TV Prod Goodbye

TV Production wasn't just a subject for most 3rd year CA students. It was life.
My day would usually begin jumping off from the bed to go to school and do some shootings, scripts, props, TDR's and Airings.. and it would usually end staring at the laptop waiting for whatever update just so we can produce a show.
But today, I didn't now it was gonna end.
Due to the recent typhoon and class suspensions, Ma'am Faye (who's the most terrific Prof I have met in my entire life), gave us the option of not producing the last Tomatalakay... so the group decided to do just that. And then, that's it.. TV Prod ends. :(
We may not have formal classes/lectures all the time.. but it is one of the subjects from which I have learned a lot. I mean A LOT. From (approximately) 10 Shows that we have produced, each role that I have played have taught me something. all memorable. all tiring yet fun.
I'm proud that I've gone through one of the most difficult phase of CA Life.
I will miss you TV Prod., and all the pressure that you bring, especially during Tuesdays from 9 to12pm :)

BECAUSE I HAVE VERY FEW PICTURES OF THIS BUSY LIFE.

(Photoby Elise Guttierrez) TOMATALAKAY PILOT EPISODE

BORED FOR DIREK'S COMMAND :) BEAT THE BEAT*

BTB*

*PHOTO BY FAITH VELASCO

First script I wrote. (For Ronda Espana Pilot episode) and sorry that it's not readable :D

BECAUSE I HAVE VERY FEW PICTURES OF THIS BUSY LIFE.
BYEBYE TV PROD.
*muah!

Fab Sibs :)

My little brother, Gabriel Angelo (we call him Jelo), is 9 and will turn 10 in January next year. He's in third grade.. with a height that will soon be higher than mine. He's so cuddly, I wanna hug him all the time. :)
We have 9 years of gap and sometimes, or most of the times  we don't agree with everything. But there are things that we really enjoy doing together, being her 'ditse' (cause that's how he calls me), I'm extra happy when we get along well. Yup, but I admit that there are a lot of times when I intentionally annoy him with every way possible. Haha. I don't know, I just feel fulfilled and happy whenever I see him so 'inis'. Call me whatever but I think nag-mana ako sa ate ko, she used to 'asar' me in a more annoying way when she was my age. I'm a little bit less brutal than her. :)

I just miss my siblings, that's all. :)
and my pamangkins too :((((
anyway, we're so fabulous together, see these. :)

guess which part is edited.. Haha

Mukha daw akong mas panganay kesa kay Ate? :(

I'm Happy anyway

There's a gazillion reasons to be sad and lonely, if you are me.
Everyday, I wake up and open my eyes and still feel so tired and exhausted after doing tons of school work for TV Prod and other subjects the night before.
During the day, I'd drag myself to school, and on my way I'd see these happy hands entangled with each other.. and then I die a little bit.
But I die a little more seeing those not-so-nice-people who never fails to ruin my day, people who will never understand how annoying they are.
But I have bigger problems than them.. like..
The thought of being away from home makes me all the more sad.
And the fact that I am really away from home makes me really really... hungry. Haha.'Cause foods from fastfood chains and from anywhere else, even the  really nice restaurants never equate to the dishes cooked by my Mommy. She's just the best.

So that's it. I miss home, I'm tired of school, I'm always hungry, I deal with difficult people and that I don't have a hand to hold.
Ok, ang corny nung last. Hahah.

Sum it all up and you get what? I'll tell you something, despite all that, I'm Happy Anyway.

Who cares if I'm dead tired? At least I'm learning, I'm doing well and I have great opportunities ahead of me. My whole body system may be experiencing stress every minute of the day but I know it's all gonna be worth it someday. At least I know that I'm on the right track, and at least I'm on the road that leads to where I wanna go. I have dreams and this is how I get there. So I'm gonna be happy despite all the sleepless nights and the eyebags that come along.

Hungry. How do I make myself happy when I miss mommy-cooked dishes? I go to Simple Line and have my Coffee Konjac Milk Tea. I know it's nowhere near the taste of foods from home, but I can always find an alternative, right? It's just Milk tea and several other foods like FroYo from Carpark and many others from Dapitan and everywhere combined all together and then I'm happy and full again.:)
Sobrang simple ko lang. Imagine, pagkain lang masaya na 'ko. :)

OK, for those people who make life extra hard by pissing me off, I have an antidote for you. I have my friends and sorry but they are too awesome to not brighten up my day despite your existence. Good thing I have these really really nice and very very true bunch of cute people who never fail to cheer me up and be there for me whenever I need them. Blessed to have met them, my life savers :)

My Manila Friends from ABZ

Eunisse, Mechelle and Me. A trio forever. (Photo from Eunisse de Leon)

Okay, so for my last dilemma, what's new? Haha. No complains, no bitterness. I'm just positively looking forward to that day when I will finally meet the one to spend both the best times and worst times of  my life. And when that day comes, I swear.. I'll do everything to make it work. Kasi it will be worth it. worth all the wait. :))

That's it. I just feel so happy and contented today that I wanna share it to you. :)

Life has its ups and downs, but I'm quite sure that my God will never let me too far down. I will always be just fine.
Cheer up and be inspired, because though there are a lot of reasons not to be, there's still even more reasons to be happy.

LOVE :)

Random thoughts:
-antok na antok na ko. Haha
-I have 5 movies to watch, which one should I watch first?and when will I have time? :)
-I really miss my pamangkins
-ang sarap ng ube na pasalubong nila mommy, as in sobrang sarap!
-ang bilis na ng broadband ng globe, in fairness :)
-tomorrow is a day for my girls so I should sleep na. :)

Goodnight, baby :)

My Life, these past few weeks.

I was Facebook-ing and about to sleep just before I decided to write this. Nothing much about my life these past few weeks. I can't blog all the time because I'm so tied down with School stuffs. There's just so much things to do and yet so little time. Lately, I'm almost always flat,dead tired and movies, music, meet-ups with friends and calls from home are the only ones that cheer me up. I wish I could be more free with my time.
Oh well, there's just three weeks left to endure this very tiring routine, and then I'll be welcoming sembreak na.
Tomorrow, I shall be coming to school at 8AM for Sino si Tomas airing in which I am a PA (because I'm almost always a writer if not a Cameraman, I want a less tiring job but it ends up that it's not less tiring at all.). So fter that I think I'm gonna go to my whatever-it-is-that-she-tries-to-teach class, Filipino. And then hopefully I can buy myself a big lunc, maybe have a goodie fun chat with friends and then feed the lovely (*sarcastic)hamster and then wasssssh my hands and then maybe I can catch some zzz's before squeezing off my brain for Tomatalakay Script.
That's how it works, and then I'm gonna have to write a paper for Literature and that whatever goes and then this and that and then whatever comes... *haaay. Gusto ko na matapos to at makag move on sa buhay. Gusto ko lang magpahinga ng hindi na-guiguilty dahil maraming gagawin.
Okay, enough complains.. it's not just me, it's September and everybody's really longing for December because everybody's dead exhausted and the Holidays is such a nice, cheerful way to have a break.

By the way, I may not have the chance to blog about this separately because I'm tinatamad, haha. But I really had a fun weekend.
-TVC (Growee) Shoot at Caloocan (Phil's place)
-Greenhills with Aaron and Ijah
-Trinoma with them plus Irah and Rona
-Sleep Over at Aaron's
-Church at VCF with Janine and Esther the next day
-and then slept like a baby.

I wish to spend more time with them and with my family too.

Yep. So i'm gonna sleep now. :)
Wait. Random Things lang:
-I wanna watch the movie In Time
-I'm quite.. how do I say this.. Inspired kilig.. or basta.. with a couple I know who just celebrated their anniversary and.. there, okay. Haha.
-I'm preparing for my parents' wedding anniversary on the 24th, what shall I do?
-I'm both worried and excited about October.
-I'm hungry.
I wanna turn off the lights after finishing this but I'm tinatamad.
-Okay I think I'm gonna end here.
-But wait, I wonder if anyone really reads my posts aside from myself. Hahaha.

Ok. Goodnight to me. :)

How could Taxi Drivers be so cruel?

I had a lot of Taxi experiences like this pero this will piss me off eternally.

Last night, as I was on my way home from a friend's party, I rode a Cab from Taft area to my Dorm in P.Noval. The streets were almost empty kasi nga gabi na, and the distance wasn't that far. Much to my surprise, pagdating namin sa dorm, the driver asked me to pay P 200. Seyoso ka kuya? 200 talaga? 

Ayoko nalang sya awayin kasi pagod na 'ko and takot din ako, syempre.. naka-party dress pa ko and all. Baka mainis sya sakin, sagasaan ako. So, I let go of my 200 Pesos kahit sobrang ayoko kasi hindi worth it.

Sayang kasi, ang lapit. :((( 

Before nga, siguro January or February, nag-Taxi ako from GMA tapos inikot niya ulit sa Quezon Ave., tapos West Ave. palang 280 na agad. Hindi ko napansin ung metro nya, sobrang bilis, parang magic. Bumaba ako, kasi baka pagdating sa dorm milyon milyon na 'yon. Hahah.

Ang daming ma-lokong Taxi drivers ngayon, good thing na hindi ako nakaka-encounter ng sexual harassments, financial lang. Hahah. I'm still blessed. :))

Ingat tayo, friends.

Wag sasakay sa passenger seat sa tabi ng driver as much as possible.

Lock the doors. And, always bring a pepper spray, just in case. :)

And someone told me na ung R&E Taxi Company daw, safe and polite ung drivers. 

Let's all be careful whenever we commute. :)

Lots of love,

Janny :)

I eat, therefore I'm happy :)

So what happened during the long weekend?
Kumain ako.... :)

....ng madami. :)

Yan lang yung may picture ako pero sobrang dami ko nakain. Favorite ko ung shrimp na may butter and honey. Ung sandwiches, ako gumawa. Promise masarap ako gumawa ng ganyan. :)
Anyway I stopped depriving myself from foods na. I'm happy with my body, with all the fats and curves and all. :)
There's something that makes me eat sooooo much when I'm at home.
Aside from it's masarap, it's also free. :)
I don't have to calculate and minus the food cost to my allowance anymore. I just EAT and then eat again. :)
PLUS MY MOM COOKS LIKE NO OTHER. SHE'S JUST THE BEST. :)